Truth

About three in the afternoon Jesus cried out in a loud voice, "Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?" (which means "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"). Matthew 27:46

“Let’s talk” may be two of the most important words you say to your child(ren). When Jesus was going through His most horrific time, He so longed to hear His Father’s voice. The silence of His Father was as grueling as the physical pain He was experiencing. Your child needs to hear your voice even when you are not physically present.

Take every opportunity to have a conversation with your child. Be deliberate about it. It does not have to be a scheduled time, it can be while driving, when eating together, before or after homework time, bedtime, etc. Seize every opportunity to have a talk.

What do you want your child to know? What values do you want your child to have? What experiences and stories do you have that will benefit your child? Ask questions, seek their opinions and feelings about different current events and happenings. Let them feel valued. Ask them why they feel a certain way. Try to understand their view and help them to understand your view and Biblical values. Should they not answer your questions, just keep talking. Tell them how you feel and why. Tell them stories, your stories and Bible stories. Everyone loves to hear a story.

Every talk is an opportunity to develop friendship, to teach, to listen and learn about your child and for your child to learn about you.

Sad to say, in the busy world we live in, many children know little about their parents background, their family’s history, the challenges and victories experienced by those closest to them. Talking to your children about your life, the lives of those most closely connected to them gives them a sense of belonging. It helps them to understand they are part of something bigger than just themselves.

The older a child gets the more important it is for them to know they can always talk to their parent(s). Yes, it is true, during adolescence children tend to shut down and would rather speak to someone other than a parent. But this is why it is so important for talks to happen early in a child’s life. The more talks the better. The more talks you have about everything, the more your child will hear your voice even when you are not physically speaking to them. They will know exactly what mom and or dad would say about a particular subject.

Having talks can unleash many wondrous things about your children you may not know. You will get to experience how they think, what they think, what is influencing them, who they look up to, what they like, dislike, the strength of their faith, their unbeliefs, their emotional challenges, their hurts, what brings them happiness, and the list goes on and on.

Your child is absorbing information all day long, at school, from friends, from what they watch and listen to. Someone is talking to them. As a parent you must monitor your child’s influences and be the loudest and most influential voice in the room. You must talk regularly to your children. You must make time and redeem time to do this.

Story

Our senior pastor, Pastor Steve Boyce, would always tell stories about his conversations with his children while driving them to school. He would intentionally not put the radio on and use this precious time to talk, become friends with, and influence the developing minds of his children. He encouraged all parents to redeem time to talk with their children. Redeeming time for parenting is crucial to establishing a deep and influential relationship with your children. Do not waste a moment of time that can be used to talk.

Moms usually have an easier time talking with their sons and or daughters. I know my wife Lori to this day leads the way to making time to talk to our children, and now grandchildren. But it is crucial for dads to do the same. Be intentional about putting away phones, tablets and other distractions. Just talk!

Interesting

Throughout my college years I noticed some smart students had difficulty taking tests. They had test anxiety, which is called testophobia. So I had determined to find a way to help my children to not be frightened of taking tests when they got older. Our bedtime routine was to read children’s books and Bible stories to our children, pray and then put them to bed. Of course as a dad, wrestling would be one of our favorite bedtime activities. My wife did not like that part of our routine, because it was supposed to be a wind down time.

With regards to helping my children not ever experience testophobia, I figured I would make testing fun. So everytime we finished our bedtime reading, I would tell my children it’s time for a talk and test. We would have a fun talk, a review about what we just read. I would then tell them daddy is going to give you a test and ask you questions. Are you ready? They would get so excited and would have some of the funniest answers. One time after talking about how God created man, I asked why did God make skin? One of my children answered with excitement, “to hold your bones in!” You get 100 on your test!

Talk to your children all the time. It is never too late to start.

BOTTOM LINE:

“Let’s talk” may be two of the most important words you say to your child.
Every talk is an opportunity to parent and develop a friendship with your child.
Talks will let you see into your child’s world.

Today’s Prayer: LORD, help me to redeem time to talk with my child(ren). Forgive me if I have failed in this area and please help me to make up for lost opportunities. I ask the Holy Spirit to help me to have meaningful conversations with my children and to not ever feel awkward or unable. In Jesus Name I pray! Amen

Featured