“This is what the Lord Almighty, the God of Israel, says: Go and tell the people of Judah and those living in Jerusalem, ‘Will you not learn a lesson and obey my words?’ declares the Lord. Jeremiah 35:12

When we look at Biblical history we see even God had to deal with strong willed people. We read stories in the Old Testament of God losing patience and wanting to just wipe everyone out. Not unlike what a parent feels like at times. But we know grace won out. Thank God!

Many parents walk around with a burden of guilt and shame.

Some parents feel like they are failing because of the challenges of dealing with the attitude and behavior of a strong-willed child. This is not uncommon. Many families have a strong-willed child.

Compliant children tend to conform and follow family rules. They ultimately obey and can be directed with ease. Not that compliant children are perfect, but for sure they are more easily instructed, disciplined and molded by their parents.

But then there is the other child! The strong-willed child is like a metal bar that takes quite a bit of heat and strength to bend. This can cause extreme pressure, frustration and angst on a parent. A strong-willed child can leave a parent feeling guilty and inept and saying things such as: What am I doing wrong? I am not a good parent. I do not know how to handle this child! I cannot take this anymore! What should I do?

What do you do with a strong willed child?

One thing for certain, do not give up! A parent must do all he or she can to live by the scriptural principles of parenting with every child, no matter how challenging at times. A parent must continue to love deeply, instruct, communicate, discipline, seek help, pray, and apply wisdom in every situation with every child, compliant and strong willed.

Do not ever give up your authority as a parent. Do not stop applying consistency in training and disciplining, and do not allow animosity to come between you and your strong-willed child. It is also important to not let a strong-willed child bring dissension between you and your spouse. Stay in unity and know your parenting, consistency and prayer will ultimately produce good fruit.

God is involved in your child’s life.

Sometimes parenting is more about praying than anything else. There are times when you just have to give your child over to the Lord. When things do not appear to be working, you have to go to God. Only God can do what you cannot do in winning over your children to Him, to you as their parent, to protecting them, and leading them on the proper path. God can do what you cannot do!

Story

Every one of our three children had unique temperaments. One of them was the most active and at times a handful. Even at a young age, our main job became keeping him safe and alive. He would climb out of his crib and crawl down the stairs to the first level. He would somehow get out of his car seat while we were traveling. We called him Houdini, after the famous escape artist We had to tie his ankles together while in his car seat for his own protection. He would even escape the house through the front door and end up across the street in a neighbor’s yard. Even when latched he would drag a chair to climb upon and unlatch the door. I can go on and on. Needless to say, he required a lot of energy, prayer, grace and consistency. He was in no way an easy child. But as said in a former ParentTip, there is no such thing as a bad child.

To top things off, my second son had seizures as a child. It started when he was 9 months old. He literally would stop breathing as we waited for paramedics to come to the rescue. This was when we had to learn to trust God with our children. The fear of dealing with a child with seizures took a toll on our emotional and even physical health as a family. We would ask God, why was this happening to our child, to our family? What did we do wrong? This is a whole other topic. Our only solution was to pray and trust God and get prayer and support from people God has put in your life. When you do not know what else to do in any situation you must give it to God and ask Him to do what you cannot do.

Interesting

Some of the greatest works on Christian parenting are by Dr. James Dobson. The New Strong Willed Child by Dr. Dobson is a book every parent of a strong-willed child should have. Dare to Discipline is another great book.

Also, here is a helpful PDF from The Parenting Center with some practical tips on parenting a strong-willed child.

https://www.esc16.net/upload/page/0307/docs/Stevenson%20The%20Strong%20Willed%20Child.pdf

BOTTOM LINE:

Do not let feelings of failure overtake you as a parent. Keep parenting!
Many families have both compliant and strong-willed children. You are not alone.
Do not forget to go to God when it seems like your parenting is not working out.

Today’s Prayer: LORD, help me to understand you create every child as a unique being with strengths, weaknesses, gifts and talents. Help me to see all my children through your eyes and give me the love, strength, wisdom and persistence to shape and mold each of them into who you want them to be. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!

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