“If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. Matthew 18:6

It is grieving to hear and see adults losing control with their children. Most of us have seen this type of behavior in public. Hearing any parent, a dad or a mom, berating their children with obscenities, name calling, hurtful gestures, and or physical abuse is never acceptable.

It is never Ok for a parent to verbally or physically abuse a child, no matter what behavior a child is demonstrating.

Speaking harshly to a child, degrading them, screaming and losing control as an adult, either verbally or physically, is not discipline. We all know parenting can be stressful and some children really know how to push buttons, but there is no reason to hurt a child emotionally or physically in any way. Control your temper, and wait for an appropriate time to discipline your child - but do not wait long. Even spanking must be done when a parent is in full control and operating in love.

Giving up on addressing a child’s misbehavior is not acceptable.

Sometimes the easiest thing to do when a child is misbehaving is to walk away and not address the bad behavior. Yes, as a parent, you should not discipline in anger, but discipline must be forthcoming to bring a child into proper behavior.

If a child knows they can control a parent and get away with bad behavior, they will do so time and time again. The carnal nature of a child will rule. Even if a child calms down and changes their behavior, not addressing bad behavior teaches disrespect towards authority.

For example, if a child refuses to eat what is provided to them, the easiest thing to do is to give them what they want, even if it is not a healthy choice. The better decision would be to take the food away and set it aside for a later time. The child must be required to eat what you as a parent provide to them. When they get hungry enough they will eat.

Isolation is not a good discipline technique.

Putting a child in their room when they are rebelling against a parent is not a good idea. It is not healthy emotionally and spiritually to send a child to their room when they are angry and their emotions are high. A spirit of hatred, bitterness, anger, rebellion, unforgiveness, etc. will speak to them in their isolation. It is better to deal with things as they happen and out in the open. You do not want your child ingesting lies into their minds and fuming while alone in their room.

Be careful to not allow your child to manipulate you.

It is amazing to see how intelligent and manipulating a child can be. If a child knows a certain behavior will cause their parents to give in to their desires, they will exercise that behavior, both good and bad.

Do not let your child manipulate you. This will cause disrespect towards authority. If there are other children in the house observing the manipulation, they will disrespect you as well. Allowing a child to manipulate you will only hurt the godly relational order you should have with your children, and it can become a habit pattern.

Fostering peace by not disciplining a child is not peace.

Peace is not peace if there is rebellion against a parent in the home. You may get your child to calm down by giving them what they want, but this is not true peace. That is a temporary truce.

Discipline is how a parent brings their children into becoming healthy, stable and secure people. When there is proper discipline in the home, true harmony can exist.

You do not want to create a little tyrant or dictator that has learned how to run the house through manipulation and or rebellion. Fostering peace by not disciplining a child is not peace. This never fixes the underlying issue of misbehavior.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Hebrews 12:11

Figure out what form of discipline works for your child.

Do all you can to muster up the energy, sticktoitiveness, and spirituality, to be the parent you are called to be. True peace comes only when a home has a godly and Biblical order to it and it is filled with the fruit of the Spirit.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self- control. Galatians 5:22-23

Story

As pastors who work with families daily, we sometimes hear parents of challenging children say “I just can’t take it anymore.” These are real emotions being experienced by good people. It is not easy living in a world that demands so much from parents, i.e., work, school, bills, etc. The problem is we cannot give up, we have children who are counting on us. We have to find strength through God, prayer, a church community, family, friends and whatever other support is available to us.

At our church, Legacy Church RI, we often use the tag line, “Don’t Do Life Alone.” Parents need other parents for support, and children need other children to model good behavior to them.

We have seen many parents get the support and help they need through spirituality, good local church communities, and following the ParentTips being provided. We all have times when we get overwhelmed, but there is comfort and strength through prayer, worship, the presence and empowerment of the Holy Spirit and good friendships.

BOTTOM LINE:

It is never Ok for a parent to verbally or physically abuse a child.
Giving up on addressing a child’s misbehavior is not acceptable.
Isolation is not a good discipline technique.
Fostering peace by not disciplining a child is not peace.
Figure out what form of discipline works for your child.
Find support when you get weary as a parent.

Today’s Prayer: LORD, please help me to be a strong Spirit filled parent. Give me the energy, discernment and wisdom in determining how to address and adjust my children’s behavior patterns. Help me to find the support needed when I get weary and fill me with the power of your Holy Spirit. Bless my home with your favor and peace. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen

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